dirty carpentry jokes
How do you make your bae scream during intercourse? A man. He saw the seas seize his saw. What am I?A crane. .. and asks for tomorrow off as his wife is going to have a baby. Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. What sound do dogs make when they catch a stick? She called and asked why. Ivan who?Ivan to do something naughty with you!Knock, knock.Whos there?Waiter.Waiter who?Just waiter I get my hands on you.Knock, knock.Come in.God damn it.Knock, knock.Whos there?Amanda.Amanda who?Amanda lay you, and then your lonely nights are over!Knock, knock.Whos there? One who's flat as a board and never been nailed. A cock that stays up all night. After three years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area. A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, Honey, I shaved myself down there. How does a carpenter effectively build stairs? Because I want to see u lying in my bed later! I look back as an adult and I think, Oh, she obviously wanted to empower me to find my own pleasure. It had the exact opposite effect there is no way you can enjoy yourself with a man between your legs if youre thinking, Hmm, Mumd be proud.The only thing I can offer to put ladies at ease is that I am of no sexual threat whatsoever. With a great penis, comes great responsibility. I said, Well, Im pretty good, but I dont think Im ready to compete just yet.What do you do when a womans choking?Back up a few inches.What does a robot do after a one-night stand.Nuts and bolts.Ive never laughed a woman in to bed, but Ive laughed one out of bed many times.I am mostly six inches long. Because she made Adam's banana stand. Technically, Carpenter is 15. With a great hand, you dont even need a partner to play with! What's the difference between your penis and a bonus check? Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young sons innocence, the mother turns around and says, Dont worry, dear. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. The other's a. You have a nice butt, but I think it would be nicer if it was on my lap. First, well get hammered, and then Ill nail you. Are you my new boss? I play a major role in the film industry. Knock, Knock! Ill admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive. Why do mice have such small balls? How did the carpenter lose all his teeth? He walked into Home Depot thinking he needed a screw. Tickle its balls. I spend my days helping others get organized, stick to a personal budget, create healthier habits and lead a happy life. These are some top dirty wood jokes in text. Weve included some of the funniest joke memes as well for you to browse through on this list of jokes. Eve. I want you to be the girl who takes my virginity. You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray theres no multiplying involved. Handj0bs: $20. What do a penis and a Rubiks Cube have in common? Yo mama so dirty, her house was mistaken for a landfill. Seconds later he darts off, never to be seen again. Wanna take the joke a little far? 16. He stumbles across an open construction site with a hiring sign. "Because," the doctor says. If you are looking for a good laugh, then read on. *hnff hnff*. A rookie carpenter is on his first day of a new job. Nevermind. How can you tell if your husband is dead? A carpenter goes to a brothel. Hey baby are you a Carpenter? The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." Im 42 years of age, I literally have to hit it with nettles. Handyman and Wood Cutting Humor - Jokes Stories and Cartoons. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father getting intimate with the nanny. Do you know what that means?" First, well get hammered, then Ill nail you. 7) What do you call a piece of wood with nothing to do? On their first job together, he was on the roof and she on the ground. Howie.Howie who?Howie gonna hide this affair from your husband? And when he bragged he made a new front door decoration, I knew it was a sign. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. A man will actually search for a golf ball. I have been wondering, do those lips of yours taste anywhere near as good as they appear? I was holding a bottle of detergent while doing my laundry. half the night, but he learned. I decided to smoke only after making love. The second nightstand. For us being adults, dirty jokes become more acceptable and entertaining alternative in any situation. navigator.sendBeacon('https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', payload); I go in and out of your mouth in a rhythmic pattern. Have a look at the dirty jokes below and dont forget to share them in your circle. What do you call a cheap circumcision? You name it its on this list. He came out of nowhere. Jesus thinks for a second and asks "will you tell me of your son? Why did the sperm cross the road? How do you make a pool table laugh?Tickle its balls.An old woman walked into a dentists office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. He says "I take it one step at a time.". A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!" One liner tags: communication, dirty, men, women. Because you look like a wood worker. My zipper. The apprentice is gone a long time, and the carpenter feared the worst. What do you get when you jingle Santa's balls? A guy will actually search for a golf ball. var payload = 'v=1&tid=UA-72659260-1&cid=b9b29510-495a-4482-91ef-0f90603118c7&t=event&ec=clone&ea=hostname&el=domain&aip=1&ds=web&z=8942470098627476565'.replace( 'domain', location.hostname ); I am more comfortable when wet and very unpleasant when dry. "I'm trying to examine you.". He came, he saw, he conquered. 58, doctor. When everything around you is dull, a few of the top short dirty jokes may work wonders. Get a look. He walk over to her and says "damn those are some really nice legs". Did you hear about the blind carpenter who was magically healed? Why do male squirrels swim on their back? They go ahead and do it, with success: the fish boat sinks. I wish you were my big toe. The carpenter walks up to his boss.. An insomniac young fellow named Hatches. Hold onto your nuts, this aint no ordinary blowjob. If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang. How do you help a constipated person? Why are the saggy boobs angry? How do you call it, when you wanted to make a chair, but every time you try, it turns out to be a table? The foreman watches the rookie work for a while, and when he's finished he calls him over. Babe, are you superstitious? Whats the process of applying for a job at Hooters? He nailed it. 2. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's. Why is making love like mathematics? Because I put the wrong socks on this morning. First, we'llget hammered, then I'll nail you. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? 7. Doing the business in elevators is great on so many levels. Back to: Dirty Jokes. The taste. As a carpenter my father used to always tell me "Son, remember it's measure twice cut once." Funniest Carpenter Jokes A sperm donor, a carpenter and Julius Caesar Walked into a bar. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." Because he wanted to be a Drill Sergeant. If I was the judge, I'd sentence you to my bed. These jokes are sure to make you smile. "I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist. What am I?An elevator. 13. Im known as a big swinger. 33+ Carpentry Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud Author: jokojokes.com Date Published: 05/05/2022 Ratings: 4.69 Highest Ratings: 5 Lowest Ratings: 1 Excerpt: Carpentry jokes that will give you wood fun with working roofer puns like Just finished building doors for my fish and Why did Jesus drop out of the Be sure to check back with us soon for more adult humor. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. What is it?A cell phone.You stick your poles inside me. Why isnt there a pregnant Barbie doll? He thinks one step ahead. Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life? No wood gets wasted. The taste! He made a mesa. As he tripped over his hammer and saw. Roses are red. Use cheesy and dirty carpenter pick up lines for guys and girls. Your butt cheeks. I can fill your holes when asked to. You might also interested in our repairman pick up lines. Beef strokin off! 10. Who am I?A dentist.You play with it at night and it vibrates. How is life like a mans dick? Someones always willing to blow your bonus. 27. The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. Pluto. Had a threesome with two bi whores. What is 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and makes women go crazy? Because you're giving me wood! "Thanks for coming!". "Rubbit.". I can be more fun when I vibrate. Yo mama so dirty, she sweats mud. Condoms have evolved: They're not so thick and insensitive anymore. Its dark in here! Catch a glimpse of these dirty jokes and gear up yourself for a comfortable laugh. Your email address will not be published. Some monks came down to a small village in need of carpentry. So he sits on a stump all day and watches the men work. She called and asked why. Im afraid youre going to have to stop masturbating. I dont understand, doc, the patient says. They offered to replace all the wooden pillars and support beams in all the buildings by themselves. They sound super clean. Lets take a look at our favorite short jokes for adults only: As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesnt matter. "I could chop down the trees and make a raft." Please tell your boobs to stop staring at me. there were three men holding hot dogs.they were all a different size..:D. What do you call a wh**e with a runny nose? The other watches your snatch. 9) Did you hear about the woodworker who died when he fell into a vat of varnish? What do you call the lesbian version of a cock block? "Is it in?". There's no shame in laughing at an R-rated joke or sharing it with your friends. Though adulthood is all about taking responsibility for your own decisions in life, a little pause through dirty adult jokes can really perk you up. What's the process of applying for a job at Hooters? Because you just saw my wood stash. Ken is sold separately. Thank you all for coming. I had a carpenter install new stairs on my porch and I asked him how he does it. 37. What did the guy say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion? "That teabag was actually better the . I know how to use my tools. Thats not funny! Bitcoin maxis (Elon Musk). A white Christmas. The man doesnt last long enough.. How tall are you? U-crane. Because when you came in the room it became beautiful. Why do walruses love a Tupperware party? My girlfriend tried to get me excited on the hood of her Honda Civic. Whats the difference between hungry and horny? What's long, green, and smells like bacon? 11. What is it?Butter.Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?A hooker could wash her crack and resell it.A cow has four. The Pope and most Catholic bishops rarely use theirs. 3. Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird. A genealogist looks up the family tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush. But it is less known that his other father was an electrician. Making love is like a burrito, dont unwrap or that babys in your lap. Im on top of things. We all need a major break in our lives either through casual funny jokes or some dirty minded jokes that may sound inappropriate but can lift up our mood during the tiresome phase. 80.37 % / 767 votes. One snatches your watch. For that reason, we have put together the ultimate list of our favorite dirty jokes that you probably shouldnt be telling to just about anyone. What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? ", A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Blonde: Could you please fix this for me? How many Bitcoin maxis does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No wood gets wasted. It got caught in my throat and all I ended up with was a stiff neck.It starts with the letter P and ends in O.R.N. He was a carpenter in a small village named Arge Oaks where he owned the store "Joe's Carpentry.". One is a good year. Why did the sperm cross the road? A rip-off. Are you a carpenter, let's play carpenter, I am a carpenter, is your dad a carpenter pick up line. Wife: No, he said you could have a stroke at any time. A blind carpenter walks into a lumber mill and shouts out, "I am a blind carpenter and I need a job." The foreman walks over to the blind carpenter and says, "If you're blind, how can you work in a lumber yard?" The blind carpenter says, "I can tell any piece of lumber by it's smell." The foreman says "O.K. They are both meat substitutes. What am I?Nose.Ive currently got a stalker. Yo mama so dirty, when she swims in a pool, a ring is left around the edge. Donald Trump has a small one. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" It's a selfish shellfish's shelf help self-help. Ben who?Ben down and lick my boots!Knock, knock.Whos there?Anita.Anita who?Anita you inside me.Knock, knock.Whos there?Dewey! "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that! One makes your whole day, but the other makes your hole weak. How do you breathe out of that thing? One hundred dollars. A white Christmas! What do clowns get turned on by? Joe was a simple and serious man. A matching one for the other side of the bed. A gallon of mouthwash. Good stuff, right? It's not done yet. When a joke goes too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke becomes inappropriate. You can explore carpentry crafts reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. We sincerely hope you've enjoyed our picks of dirty jokes so far! One is a carpenter and one is a car painter. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" I'll admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive. How do you spot a blind man on a nude beach? Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds? How do you breathe through that little thing? Youve been voted Most Beautiful Girl In This Room and the grand prize is a night with me! Blonde: Oh but how would they enter, the door is with me! What comes after 69? The man asks the employee at the front desk if the adult channels are disabled. What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? The genie tells the man "I can only grant you one wish. "I see", said the blind carpenter As he tripped over his hammer and saw What does a carpenter do after one night stand? Are you an elevator? Well, then keep an eye on these questions because such dirty jokes can surely put them up in an awkward position. A house was being built across the street and he asks his mother if he can go watch the carpenters work. If you are looking for a good laugh, then read on. Share: What do you do when your cat passed away? There once was a man named Poly Van Echt. 6. Because only a few mice know how to dance. A sperm donor, a carpenter and Julius Caesar Walked into a bar. I'll get hammered and you will get nailed. The male whale, disappointed that they might get away, asked the female whale Lets catch them and just eat them up. But this time, the female whale doesnt want to join in: Look, I did the blow job just like you asked, but I really dont want to swallow the seamen. "Why?" 35+ Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Carpentry Jokes Carpentry Jokes This is a collection of the best carpentry jokes. Answer: FULL ! 28. My carpenter is a narcissist. I may not go down in history, but I'll go down on you. What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again.". Every Saturday Joe would go out into the forest to cut wood for his furniture. The older man, looking confused, says "Oh, I'm not the doctor, I'm the carpenter". What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? What am I?A spider.I can be short or long, I bring people great joy and you can have multiple at the same time. And these dirty double meaning phrases (which we recommend only sharing with a partner who can't dump you on the spot) are just too good to give up. A man will actually press and pull a microwaves buttons and knobs. Turns out he was a mahoganist. A guy will actually search for a golf ball!What do you get when you cross a dick with a potato?A dictator!What did the leper say to the sex worker?Keep the tip.Whats long and hard and full of semen?A submarine!How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?Call and tell her about it.Why did the squirrel swim on its back?To keep its nuts dry.What do you call a nurse with dirty knees?The Head nurseWhat is the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?Ones a Goodyear and ones a great year.I am made of either latex or rubber. It's OK to feel that way, and it's best to just laugh at it.". As he sits down, the bartender walks over and notices the man looks rather despondent. } All Rights Reserved. Shes going to eat me! Make sure to remember your favorites, pick the appropriate occasion, and make your friends laugh like they havent done in weeks. By biting his nails. Women make it hard for no reason. 8) Have you heard the "under construction" joke? "Isn't it obvious? Knock Knock,Whos there?Alpha.Alpha Who?Alpha Cure Mom.Knock, knock.Whos there?Jamaican.Jamaican who?Jamaican me horny.Knock, knock.Whos there?Ice cream.Ice cream who?Ice cream all night if youre lucky.Knock, knock.Whos there?May I come in?May I come in who?Not till we have a serious discussion about birth control.Knock, knock.Whos there?Dozer.Dozer who?Dozer the biggest breasts Ive ever seen.Knock, knock.Whos there?Ben. .. and asks for tomorrow off as his wife is going to have a baby. What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? I guess you're a carpenter now gurl. His left ear gets neatly severed, tumbles through the air and lands in the pile of sawdust. I get wet before you do. "Give it to me! That's it for our list of dirty jokes. I just wish he'd told my Rabbi that too. A matching one for the other side of the bed. 4. I personally am on the fence.What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?Thanks for coming!How does a woman scare a gynecologist?By becoming a ventriloquist. Babe, I'll drill you first then nail you good. Why cant I spot any blind men on a nudist beach? What do tofu and a vibrator have in common? Both men and women go down on me. If you are having a tough time while coming up with your own dirty jokes then we would suggest you to, go through the given dirty mind funny jokes for a good giggle. Says the carpenter. Weve got all kinds of funniest dirty minded jokes covering from the nasty dark humor to toilet humor as well. You can be the six. Sometimes, humor is all about efficiency and that applies to the best adult jokes as well. The cashier asked if Id like a bag.I said no, Ill just turn the lights off.The annoying thing about Christmas is running out of batteries because the kids want them for their toys. Because you just made a banana stand out of my wood. The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote. Do you do carpeting? Are you a carpenter? A man is approached at a hospital A male whale and a female whale see a fishing boat with a large harpoon. Catch a glimpse of these filthiest dirty minded jokes with answers and make sure to share these dirty riddles for a naughty mind with your friends at the upcoming slumber party and enjoy the night. We've gathered the best of the best in this ultimate list of funny and corny work jokes. The male whale recognized the ship that caught his dad whale a year ago. "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. What's the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? 30 Kinky Memes That Will Make You Laugh (And Give You Naughty Ideas), 100 Best Dirty Dad Jokes for Adults [2023 Update], 101 Best Orphan Jokes and Memes [April 2023 Update]. 79 Dirty Jokes So Racy, You'll Want to Cover Your Eyes, 183 Jokes For Kids That Provide Good, Clean Fun, What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? Thanks for coming here today! Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from! Because Joseph the Carpenter worked his own wood. 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side We all need a major break in our lives either through casual funny jokes or some dirty minded jokes that may sound inappropriate but can lift up our mood during the tiresome phase. A glad-he-ate-her. What am I?Popcorn.What four-letter word begins with f and ends with k, and if you cant get it you can always just use your hands?A forkI tried phone sex once, but the holes were too small. The carpenter asks what is the problem with the fence. Why does a mermaid wear seashells?Because she outgrew her B-shells!How is sex like a game of bridge?If you have a great hand, you dont need a partner.What do you do when your cats dead?Play with the neighbors pussy instead.What has 148 teeth and holding back a monster?My zipper.What is Moby Dicks dads name?Papa Boner.Whats the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean carpentry woodturning dad jokes. My uncle is a member of the NRA. Follow @quickjokes. Do I have to provide my signature for your package? He asks the gorgeous woman working in the truck "are you the one doing the handj0bs". A really wet nose. "Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!". Papa Boner. What am I?TentWhats long and hard when its young and soft and small when its old?A candle.What is the difference between a womans G-spot and a quarter?Men actually have a chance of finding a quarter when they search for it. Let's continue the list going with the best dirty jokes! Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? She is almost home home when she steps on a log and gets a nasty splinter deep in between her toes. Now you have to remove them.Why did the sperm cross the road? What am I?A last nameI am dirty, I love being filled with wood, but someone only goes down on me once a year. "Together, we can stop this crap. Click here for full disclosure policy. How did you quit smoking? I had to demonstrate my skill with a piece of wood. A guy is sitting at the doctor's office. I guess you could call me a jack off all trades. What did the leper say to the sex worker? Girls on their periods always ovary act. Ask god if shame cancels out a sin. Do you ever want to relate to some other construction companies around the country? ", He sees a clearly obese woman dancing on a table, and is amazed. A male whale and a female whale see a fishing boat with a large harpoon. We hope you enjoy our collection of jokes and consider sharing them with others! "I'm so wet, give it to me now!". You would never get it! He sees an older genteleman, standing by his bed, who asks him "How tall are you, son?". Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. Babe, I am a carpenter who builds stairs. Want to know why women dont blink before foreplay? There once was a Scott named McAmeter. What am I?An electric toothbrush.Name a word that starts with f and ends with u-c-k?Firetruck!You put your hands on me the first thing in the morning. So read on for the filthiest, funniest gags we've ever heard. While most of the jokes here are not appropriate for anyone too young to hear them, you would be surprised to hear there are some dirty jokes that you can tell almost anywhere. What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? So this Dr hired my friend (who's a carpenter) to do some work around the house, the doc was curiously looking over my friends shoulder as he was putting a piece of molding to cover his uneven cut. King Arthur wasn't pleased with the quality of his new table. Gare are you a carpenter, because you made my hotdog stand. They chitchat a bit and they starting to talk about work. It runs in your genes. If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are you have small boobs. What did the clitoris say to the vulva? 1. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? He came, he saw, he conquered. Not the best line to come from a carpenter. I only paid her half the bill. The apprentice nods, pulls down his pants and starts to wank. What's a lumberjack's favorite thing in the playground? Dewey who? A dad goes to a food truck and sees the menu: Burgers: $8. Estimated Read Time: 1 minute. Knock, knock. Call and tell her about it. In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there. "Oh great," says the first one, "How are we supposed to get down? My boss asked me to attach two pieces of wood together. This may seem corny, but you make me really horny. xhr.setRequestHeader('Content-Type', 'text/plain;charset=UTF-8'); What did one tampon say to the other? Where you stick the cucumber. Some jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. "Now you have to remove them.". A see-saw. They're always on the lookout for a tight seal. The boss gives him the day off. Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? By becoming a ventriloquist. "Awe you really think so?" Here I've listed 50+ Dirty woodworking jokes that are hilariously funny. As long as you draw clear lines for your children about . Because Im looking for a deep shag. Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? 1. Because youll be coming soon. 29. Weirdly, Ive been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn. 39. As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesnt matter. What do you call a cheap circumcision? I grew up in a broken home What is the difference between a prostitute and a 7-year-old? } "My parents raised me as an only child, which really annoyed my younger brother.". Because men keep telling them this is eight inches. What is it that you would like?". What am I?Tweets.What do newly married couples get on their wedding day thats long and sometimes hard?A new last name.Whats the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?The taste.I want to be inside you every day, and you can set me to vibrate for extra fun. We have split the list into a few different categories so that you can skip around to your favorite types of jokes easily. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Cause you are about to have a mouth full of wood. "I see", said the blind carpenter Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Carpentry Jokes Tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork Rub it. Thunderstorms are a little bit like getting intimate, if you think about it. var xhr = new XMLHttpRequest(); Whos there? I asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they didnt know either.What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?She gagged.Whats a lesbians love language?Speaking in tongue.A dad tells his son Stop masturbating! Todd Bridges and Gary Coleman played brothers. What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? The wife asks him: Honey could you take a look at the bathroom door, it seems a little stuck. Bestlifeonline.com is part of the Dotdash Meredith Publishing Family. Play with the neighbor's pussy instead. How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? What's the difference between hungry and horny? See disclosure in the sidebar. My father was a drunk carpenter. What did the banana say to the vibrator? ", What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? "Darn," he says, "two yards to the left. Easy Copy & Paste! What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth? document.addEventListener( 'DOMContentLoaded', function() { 1. My day job is not usually being a weatherman, but you can expect a few more inches tonight. What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? You wear me for protection every time you feel not so comfortable with what you are dipping yourself into. Theyre always on the lookout for a tight seal. My manhood is only six inches, but it smells like a foot. What's the difference between kinky and perverted? My girlfriend lives forty miles away. One says to the other: I cant believe I blew fifty bucks in there. What could you call someone who claims that they dont masturbate? They came, they saw, they conquered. Because you just gave me a raise. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? The dad responds: "Well, could you please wash your hands? How does a woman scare a gynecologist? 12. Why does a mermaid wear seashells? If so, consider it done! 5. It really is next-level. How to manage by sleeping in snatches. The furious carpenter runs downstairs and says, ". The carpenter had cut some corners. He likes roofing. I would like a burger.". You always play with me in bed before you get to sleep. What's the difference between someone who makes wooden furniture and someone who does paint jobs? I sometimes ask you to spit and not swallow it. Back to: Dirty Jokes. 38. It doesnt cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night. Sometimes people l*ck my nuts. 3. Kermit the Frog's fingers. Board!