Scout and Miss Pauling run at the bread monster as she lets out a yelp. The monitor buzzes off. [The Medic throws the jar containing the bread creature onto the ground. Ooh, look! ], [Cut to a right side view of the van. TF2 - Heavy Laughlong. Spy simply looks down at him with a smug grin on his face. Spy: [chucking softly] No. [An ominous rumble shakes the entire base as the group look up at the ceiling. Spy: [smugly] Asking out that dial tone again, I see. ], [The background music stops and the van grows quiet. This never leaves this room [sigh]. ], [Interior shot of the cab. Shaken, the Scout jerks awake. Suddenly the Engineer bursts in through the door behind them.]. - I have done nothing but teleport bread for three days. Suddenly a siren can be heard in the background with guards shouting. She looks back at him for a few moments, then shoots an oncoming tentacle with the gun in her hand. Suddenly, a Red Bread truck screeches into view from the right, knocking away the can and . At 6:05, Spy's microphone is not visible but later appears before he pushes the button at 6:15. The Heavy slowly folds his arms.]. TF2 - Frying Pan. It reads 70:00:00. A fight breaks out, with the other mercenaries rushing to their aid. The sergals cock is drawn in much greater detail than the Spy who is in the maw of the Sergal, becoming disemboweled with blood spurting everywhere.]. [He grabs the Soldier by his coat.] [She points at the hangar they just exited from. The camera continues panning and steadies at the van's open air cab, revealing a sleeping Scout and the Heavy hunched over at the wheel. ], Soldier: [his hand still covering the Scout's face] Goodbye, Miss Pauling! Online. Now weakened, the wooden platform collapses, sending the trio plummeting to the dirt below. [Cut to the Heavy. Why don't we discuss it over dinner. He hits Scout in the face with the pointer, who reels back in pain. [The cab's rear door abruptly opens and the Soldier steps out, and with his right hand, hastily pushes Scout's snout into his seat. Miss Pauling: TomorrowI'm belt sanding the fingerprints off a pile of corpses. ], Miss Pauling: [Quickly] You're ready. TF2 Nom nom nom. The dead BLU soldier slides off the roof. Come on, Spy. Minusve're not bread. Hmm. The Medic informs them that only bread mutates, and that they will all be fine (after the Soldier mistakenly states that they will live forever), while the Pyro starts playfully chasing down the remaining small Bread Monster. 1 . [Suddenly, the Spy's voice is heard. I got a bucket of chicken Spy: [He slaps the chicken out of Scout's hands.] Behind him is a crash-test dummy, hanging on a stand. Scout: That's right, fancy pants, myself! The camera moves to an overhead shot of the now-empty table as the Spy pulls his Cigarette Case from his jacket and draws a cigarette. [Spy walks away to pour a drink. ], Miss Pauling: [Yelling] What the hell is that!? He confides that he did have a real wish for the bucket list: a date with Miss Pauling. Cut back to Scout and Miss Pauling.]. Before you go. The monster throws Scout at the Demoman, and they both collapse onto the ground. Researcher & Scrapbooker & Commentator, Database Moderator & Historical Meme Historian & Stand User, Digital Archaeologist & Treasurer & Media Maid. The Sniper tumbles through the gravel briefly before getting back to his feet and taking out his Kukri. It closes its mouth as the bomb explodes. Jul 22, 2021 at 08:33PM EDT Spy flicks open his disguise kit, plucks a cigarette out of it, then snaps it closed again. Um. He then gets grabbed by a tentacle and is yanked into the air. ], Spy: Our first dying wish is Scout's. Miss Pauling: Scout, it's Pauling. At 11:14, we see the right side of Ms. Pauling's glasses slant down. Before you go. ], [Cut to a close-up of the timer, which ticks down to two seconds. A slow downwards pan to a crushed Bonk! Now go! I'm going to be dead. [The Medic and the Engineer are discussing something, but turn to Scout when he addresses them. Scout reaches for the bucket of chicken with a grin on his face, but Spy slaps his hand away. [She disappears off-camera. The Engineer intervenes raising his hands.]. Scout turns back to Miss Pauling.]. Cut back to the Medic]. ], [Miss Pauling looks Scout in the eyes, grabs a hold of his arm, and gives him a nod of approval. Riots in the Teufort areas have grown out of control, and even the United States Army cannot control it. [The Demoman confusingly mouths "post-coitus" and the Scout is nearly in tears with laughter.]. The Heavy remains at the fridge door, eating his Sandvich, but observing.]. (Note: caption reads "business"), [Heavy can be seen in the background, checking the fridge's contents. Spy: [rolls his eyes and gets off the door, light chimes and strings play] Make it quick. Heavy grabs one of the detached tentacles and heaves it off to one side, then walks over to the Demoman, who is carrying a case of beer under his arm. Scout: [frantic yet hushed strings play] But you, Spy. I'll put this date on myself! A subreddit for all your TF2 copypasta needs. ], Miss Pauling: [Quickly] You're ready. Taps-like trumpet-playing is heard.] Scout turns back to Miss Pauling.]. He tosses the keys in the air and deftly catches them. Here you've drawn me having [The camera tastefully remains on his face.]. More cans of BONK! You have a dinner date for seven what time do you arrive? Spy: [sighing] Fantastic. [The Spy pushes a button on the console and a microphone pops up. The camera moves to an overhead shot of the now-empty table as the Spy pulls his Cigarette Case from his jacket and draws a cigarette. The windshield has bullet holes on the left and is completely knocked out on the right. Scout and Miss Pauling run at the bread monster as she lets out a yelp. Okay [He walks up to the Spy.] The Spy walks slowly, passing front of the camera left to right, cigarette in hand.]. Miss Pauling: [finished with dragging body, she stands up and wipes the dirt from her hands] Funny you should mention that. No. Miss Pauling: You're already going to be at that one. At 4:16, the Scout line, "Classic Scout", was improvised by voice actor Nathan Vetterlein as detailed in his Twitch Stream. The Soldier greedily grabs the pail with both hands. Miss Pauling: [finished with dragging body, she stands up and wipes the dirt from her hands] Funny you should mention that. At 5:01, Spy's model does not sync with the censored word (F***). [She points at the hangar they just exited from.] 'i' A medium tempo jazz instrumental starts with flute, piano, and drums. The Soldier then takes his bucket and picks up a loaf of bread dropped by the Medic. 2. It was a gloomy day. A medium tempo jazz instrumental starts with flute, piano, and drums. ], [The camera cuts to a shot of Spy and Scout in a classroom setting. He returns the glance awkwardly. I'm not one of your fried chicken tramps! [he gestures, thinking out loud.] ], [Scout can be seen reading a book titled Pick-up Lines for Fast Food Junkies. The story ends with Scout trying to get another date, but Miss Pauling having to decline due to already having spent her one day of vacation this year. Some of the witness corpses that Miss Pauling gathers are that of a Spy, a Soldier, and a Medic without a jacket. Heavy, Medic, and Pyro rush to the aid of Scout and Miss Pauling. Y'all ought to take a look at this. The Scout turns back to the monitor. Spy can be seen walking around Scout as the camera rotates around him in the opposite direction.] The timer ticks down to one second as they leap straight into the open maw of the monster. ], [The Engineer walks off-camera as energetic drums start to play in the background. [Side shot of the van rolling down a ramp and pulling into a garage. Spy. With two hours left on his death watch, Scout decides to take things into his own hands. Ow. Spy: Say that [pushes microphone towards Scout] again. The tumors are now plainly visible on the outside. ], Soldier: [his hand still covering the Scout's snout] Goodbye, Miss Pauling! ], [SPY'S SMOKING ROOM: 58 HOURS TIL DEATH Cut to rear shot of the Spy sitting back in his leather arm chair. The camera pans from the rear towards the front while a heavy drum beat plays. Matthew Russell, a former animator at Valve, released an animation demo reel that features scenes from. ], [Cut back to Spy and Scout in the classroom, only this time DANCING is written on the chalkboard. [A bloodied hand can be seen in the background reaching for help. The Engineer winces while the Scout yelps and throws his paws in the air. A look of realization appears on her face.] We're not dying! Um. He sniffs it briefly, then recoils backwards, making a noise of disgust. Exactly! ], [Miss Pauling looks Scout in the eyes, grabs a hold of his arm, and gives him a nod of approval. ], [TRAINING GYM: 2 HOURS TIL DEATH Floodlights come to life, illuminating the Scout, who is sitting in a classroom chair in the middle of a wrestling ring. I'm a woman! The Heavy is mildly amused.]. She does, however, offer to have Scout to come along at work, though he declines each task Pauling lists until she comes to the task of killing the one who pulled the briefcase alarm, which she says that Scout will already be at. [A smile forms on her face]. To make these hours count! Spy: How long before thesetumors kill us? Wait! The Soldier wanders over, interested. Jump cut to the future, and a pile of books has begun to accumulate around Scout, who has a pencil clenched between his teeth. [He makes a gun formation with his right paw. The bar has several bottles of RED wine, glasses, and a console. He places down a glass. 14. dogman15 6 yr. ago. medic! You left seven witnesses, guys. Scout: Miss Pauling. A bright flash of light can be seen engulfing the monster, then the screen cuts to black.] She ramps off the wooden bush and flies right through the curtain. Scout: so that brings me to the point of this story, which is I like you, and you should probably be sitting for this Miss Pauling: GUYS! Members. In all subsequent shots, the Medic's backpack is missing. [he angrily throws the card down] Did anyone besides Scout put a card into the bucket?! All right? The Scout, meanwhile, bounces off the bread monster and lands on his feet in a battle stance. Scout and a busty, blonde haired fox are standing at a counter with buckets of "Conquistador Fried Giblets" brand chicken drumsticks.]. Miss Pauling tumbles unceremoniously to the ground, helmet falling off of her head. The Heavy still leans nonchalantly on the fridge door. Cut to a shot of Miss Pauling on a scooter, speeding towards RED Base. I just said we're not filled with tumors! ], [As Miss Pauling walks towards the door, the scooter falls onto its side. [The Medic shakes up the jar he's carrying, which contains the bread creature from earlier. can is punctured by a brass flourish. Engineer: Guys! And this. Everything you just said was insane and, we are out of time. [relaxes and chuckles] So yeah, Miss Pauling. Fast zoom to the inside of its mouth, and the dove it vored earlier is seen sitting inside it. [Disgusted, the Spy slides the bucket over as the rest of the mercenaries get up to leave. PROTIP: A literal bucket list. They take shelter behind it. This means none of the mercenaries have tumors, and thus are not going to die. Look for a date accompanied with "use by," "sell by," or "best by.". [The cab's rear door abruptly opens and the Soldier steps out, and with his right hand, hastily pushes Scout's face into his seat. It smashes the cliff face with a tentacle, causing rock to come tumbling down on the Heavy, who endures the debris pounding down on his back. Scout, meanwhile, runs up to the side of the bread monster and slams his club into it. [he angrily throws the card down] Did anyone besides Scout put a card into the bucket?! [Cut to a shot of Miss Pauling watching the battle. The Heavy takes a drumstick from the fridge and tosses it over his shoulder. The dance scene is interpreted within the action/fight scene. Died. And you just wasted it on-- [She looks around her, pausing mid-sentence.] He suddenly looks concerned and stops eating his Sandvich. It's Been Two Years Since This Meme Started, Think, Mark, Think! The Scout and Heavy look worried while the Engineer looks down at the floor. On June 18th, Redditor ThamosII posted an SFM image of Soldier teleporting bread which received over 1,600 upvotes in /r/tf2[4] in six months (shown below, right). Spy is sitting in the chair in front of the monitors while Soldier and Demoman stand behind him. Scout looks at the monster, which lets out a long roar. [The strings hold, then fade as the scene cuts to black. Um. The Spy steps from the front of the table and walks from right to left, lit cigarette in his right hand, and the left firmly clasped behind his back.]. Medic:I didn't say that! Miss Pauling turns and shoots him with a silenced pistol. The bread creature flips itself in the jar and gnashes its teeth at the bottom of the container, and the Soldier chuckles to himself at its actions. ], [TRAINING GYM: 51 HOURS TIL DEATH Camera slowly pans into a nearly empty gymnasium. Klaxons start going off and red alarm lights begin flashing. Go [bleep] yourself. The monitor buzzes off. Cut shot to the Scout who looks relieved at the hand being removed from his face. 1, 1, 1, umm. Spy simply looks down at him with a smug grin on his face. Scout: Oh [He stands up, bringing the desk with him. But then there was this monster and we shot it and we built a bomb and I think my leg's broken. Soldier: [proudly] HA HA HA! [Side shot of the van rolling down a ramp and pulling into a garage. [brings out a flip notebook], [The camera slowly pulls back to reveal the body of the monster, which now lays motionless. is set in front of him. Scout: [gestures to the table which holds another Teleporter, a loaf of bread, and an ashtray] Hey, look at all this. Scout backs up as one of the tentacles swipes at him. ], [The camera cuts to a rear shot of the van pulling into a dirt road flanked by rocky cliffs and several Sentries and a RED-owned building in the distance. Goodbye. Shattering glass can be heard.']. You want to be my lover?! At 6:25, the Soldier is carrying several loaves of bread. Died. Half-standing, the Soldier examines the bucket.]. One of the Medic's pet doves ends up eaten by the monster. At 5:55, a painting of a bowl of fruit with a knife in the apple is seen behind the Spy. They both glare at him, ignoring the keys which clatter to the floor. You're terrible with girls. It's just bread that gets tumors! [The Spy's mouth twitches as he stops himself from laughing] So why don't you take your little failure, roll it up sideways, and- [The Spy taps his watch, voicelessly reminding Scout of the death watch] -Okay, crap, I gotta go [He quickly downs the rest of his drink and begins to walk off-screen, but leans back towards the Spy.] The Engineer and Medic walk by pushing Teleporters and piles of bread on two carts to the lab. Spy: [Annoyed] Scout, where is this going? [The screen fades in to a shot of desert road, similar to Meet the Sniper. Lyrics, Meaning & Videos: Meet the Pyro, Expiration Date, Meet the Medic, Mann vs. Machine, Jungle Inferno, Meet your Match, Team Fortress 2 Trailer, Team Fortress 2 is Free to Play, Meet the Medic - Outtake - Kill Me, Mann vs. Machine - The Sound of Medicine, Find the lyrics and meaning of any song, and watch its music video. We killed everybody and took a briefcase! [sigh] Okay. I TELEPORTED BREAD! Scout: I'm wedging my head through a door here to tell you I'm sorry. Stand back son. Look, my last few hours I just wanted [The bread monster grabs a hold of the bomb and swings it around in the air. A BLU Demoman's boot can be seen sticking out from underneath of the hood which has a hood ornament reading "SWORD". ], [The Engineer turns to the Medic. Ooh, look! An upbeat, funky jazz track starts playing. A dead BLU soldier can be seen draped on the roof of the van. The Scout throws up his hands, the Heavy is startled and momentarily loses control of the van, and the Soldier takes over the monitor.]. This painting is a parody of, At 6:04, a painting can be seen behind the Spy of him riding a horse. She is slightly irritated that they left witnesses that she has to take care of for them. He's about to rush forward to attack the monster but pauses as the RED Bomb trundles into view.]. Scout: What? ], [She disappears off-camera. Miss Pauling: [distracted] Scout? At 9:47, Hydro's Introduction video can be seen playing on the smaller monitors. ], [Miss Pauling has now removed the panel off of the detonation mechanism of the bomb, and can be seen frantically messing with the wires. [He walks across the ring, awaiting Scout's answer.]. She looks back at him for a few moments, then shoots an oncoming tentacle with the gun in her hand. It is filled with note cards. Hmm. The Scout, meanwhile, bounces off the bread monster and lands on his feet in a battle stance. Miss Pauling: [Briefly glancing over at Scout] Uh-huh. Stunned by the blast, Miss Pauling and Scout painfully but quickly recover inside the bread monster. Screw you, though [He walks by an alarm that's labeled In Case of Briefcase theft, push button. [He smiles, then it quickly turns into a frown] Wait, nah. Now I can feel it. Immediately following the release of the video, the line "I have done nothing but teleport bread for three days" gained popularity within the Team Fortress 2 community. [Cut to a shot of the room behind them, which is decorated with ribbons, balloons, streamers, and various themed decorations while rocking jazz music plays. The two notice that the dove that the Bread Monster ate is flying harmlessly out of the mouth of the monster.

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