Im fearful of my husband having Hoor-Al-Ayn in Paradise. Why? Welcome! Find out to see whether he actually likes you by taking this quick free quiz. And you can divorce your spouse if he/she cheats on you. The Prayer of Need (Salat al-Hajah) or Istikhara? I advise you to think properly and give yourself plenty of time to make a decision. Her most recent research publications include: A Systematic Research Synthesis of Various Adaptive Strategies Utilized by Dual-Income Couples, and The Assessment of Marital Adjustment with Muslim Populations: A Reliability study of the Locke-Wallace Marital Adjustment Test when administered to the Muslim Population. 7-Some vendors and shopkeepers make their stores very dark by using coloured lights, so that rough products will look smooth and ugly ones will look beautiful. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". While others may be impulsive and take opportunities for immediate gratification. The final resort in medical treatment is cautery, as it is said, and despite the pain of this cautery (divorce), it will give you a way out from the distress and anger you are feeling, and it will protect you and your children from the possibility of fitnah (tribulation) because of your husbands misbehaviour and his haram relationship, whether that protection has to do with your religious commitment, honour or health. 2- You should advise him and admonish him. She has obtained her bachelor's degree in Sociology from Norway. All it takes is a small gift from a reader like you to keep us going, for just $2 / month. We run a business [together] since 1995. 4-Some traders do some light mending on clothes, then they sell them without explaining that they have been mended, rather they swear by Allaah that they are new may they perish! How did this situation come into our relationship? Whether to disclose your cheating to him or not is your decision, and Im not encouraging you to take either option; its up to you to decide. Used, manipulated, gaslighted, and then left by a man, Im happily married but I keep checking out other women. Its NOT haram, Allah just wants you to be happy! These are the things that save and sustain relationships. He would spent less and less time with his family. I have been in the new country with my husband for almost 2 months now, his brother has sworn to secrecy, but It is becoming harder for me to keep this quiet. I dont know the extent of it but I found a trail of messages of other women and him flirting! lol. My husband embraced Islam in 1990 and married me. As the years went on she became bolder, rebellious and more defiant despite learning Qur'an and Hadith everyday. His wife is from the States and he married her hoping to leave his own country and also move to the States. By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. 2-It is indicative of the mean and evil nature of a person. By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. How did you meet this man? Oftentimes, these reactions will involve arguments, harsh words, and a lot of negativity. Does she not have to ask for his forgiveness? Which just makes you come across as a person that sees themselves as a victim rather than a perpetrator. I once asked my husband hypothetically what he would do i cheated once and regretted it and he told me he would leave on the spot. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): And let those (executors and guardians) have the same fear in their minds as they would have for their own, if they had left weak offspring behind. I dont have a Wali and my mother is haunted by Jinns, I wish to leave my cheating husband and take the children with me. You will lose him for good once you tell him the truth. I would also advise you to go for a sexual health checkup to ensure you have not caught any infections, and do a pregnancy test to ensure you are not pregnant. Afshana Haque is currently the executive director of her private practice, Muslim Family Support and conducts face to face and online therapy from Houston, TX. Millions of questions went through my mind! These are some of the ways in which this cheating is manifested: 1-Some fathers may offer a man who comes to marry one of his daughters his youngest daughter who is still a virgin, then on the wedding night he finds out that he has been given the older, previously-married daughter. This can also serve as a way to avoid wrongful accusations by the neighbours. First you must not tell him. You have the choice to move on and begin a new life with the man you had an affair with. Make time for. Please make sure it doesn't happen again! This especially applies to the Muslim couples. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. Is your husband going for therapy with you. I wanted to be noticed just for a moment. Learn theSigns Your Husband Doesn't Care about You Anymoreas that can lead to serious cheating. Or do you wish to stay in the marriage and try to work it out? Here are the. This is sad. Alhamdulillah, we're at over 850 supporters. I'm a stereotype. Some people consciously or subconsciously use cheating as a way to end a marriage. May Allah guide you and keep you on the right path, Ameen. Unfortunately, my x continued contact during our reconciliation which hindered progress. You may discover that this soul shattering event is the reboot you needed to develop a healthier and more mature approach to relationships. The reason for that is the lack of any religious deterrent, weakness of faith, and the lack of any sense that Allaah is always watching. Create an account, If you do not have an account, you can click the button below to create one, Create new account Source: After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner has been Unfaithful by Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD with Michael Spring, completely updated 2nd edition. In essence on the count of three, I invite the two of you to step into the center of the ring, remove your boxing gloves and join hands. 1, In terms of regaining trust, it must be earned, and not with verbal reassurances alone, but with specific changes in behavior. 1 Your husband will have to demonstrate though bold, concrete actions that he is committed to you and that you are safe with him. OP, you are not disclosing any details of anything that might have happened in-between your 'extremely happy marriage' to cheating on your 'stuck-by-the-hip' husband. He should realize that he will stand before Allaah and that Allaah has only given him this job so that he can be sincere towards the Muslims. Click here to support MuslimMatters with a monthly donation of $2 per month. 9-Some of them buy clean second-hand gold, then they offer it for sale at the price of new without telling the purchaser that it is second-hand. The man you had an affair with probably has the qualities you are looking for in a husband, but you need to ask yourself: Can my actual husband become more like him?, Am I having an affair because it is easier to find someone else than to work on what I have?. I discovered proof and I lost my temper as I loved my husband very much but now he said to me that he had feelings for her and he wanted to marry her but before we got married I had asked him if he wished to marry again and he said no very clearly and that he had no intention of going down that path. A person who cheats often display constant lying which can be observed through their behaviours. He got married a while back and has a baby boy now, with another on the way. I wanted to be noticed just for a moment. You also write: She is also an apprentice editor of the Journal of Marital and Family therapy, the highest impact journal in the field of Marriage and Family Therapy. The Shaytaan makes their evil deeds attractive to them. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. I have listed them as practical options for you to reflect on and I pray to Allah to guide you to the best means and outcome in sha Allah. Your email address will not be published. In September 2012, he secretly married another Muslim woman. And we did, twice. You should explain to him what his punishment will be with Allah in the Hereafter, or in the Hereafter and this world; indeed you should warn him that Allah may punish him for such sin with regard to his family, as he may be tested with marriage to a woman, or with having a daughter, who does with men what he is doing with women what will his reaction be in that case? Never put complete,blind trust on a human, that trust deservedly belongs to Allah. I have keep the status quo. Set a beginning time and an ending time. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. Especially if we go back to your claim of having pretty much a perfect marriage and husbandand being 'extremely happy'. Try not to disrupt their usual routine during this time so as not to affect them as a result. But.. Is it right to keep it a secret from her Husband? I feel unhappy at times and like Im stuck with someone who doesnt love me or have feelings for me. Used, manipulated, gaslighted, and then left by a man, Im happily married but I keep checking out other women, I am certain I will commit zinaI have no faith in myself or Allah. Some examples may include: What happened? Every time I think of it I feel like I betrayed not only my husband but Allah as well. Contents You have been unhappy for at least a year (I suspect for much longer). I would suggest no more than two hours. And don't frame it as "I cheated because" There should never be a "because" when it comes to cheating. Reason #6: To feel human and alive. Being in contact with your ex-boyfriend is not a good idea. Never be alone with guys, shaytan will force you to repeat the same thing since he was already successful number of times with you. To avoid the punishment due to cheating, these are some things that Muslim can do: These are some helpfulWays to Make a Relationship Work after Cheatingwhich can also save a marriage. Do you really? I have learned to pray, taught my daughters how to read the English translation of the Quran all the way, attend the Masjid every Friday and even went daily to Masjid (missing 1 day) during Ramadan. Are they willing to go to a 12-step program to deal with their addiction? He now promised he wont get in contact with her and that he has ended it, but in my heart there is so much hurt and at times I cry and get depressed and feel like I am not enough for him. Indeed, He enabled the kuffaar to gain power over them, so they took them prisoner and enslaved them, and made them taste all kinds of torment and humiliation. My Punishment is indeed severe. [Ibrahim 14:7]. D you have affair to prove you are still very attractive. Youll also be doing what is called an emotional vomit on him if you reveal your cheating to him. The fact that you are confused as to why your husband isn't understanding, goes to show how you obviously don't understand the depth of destruction cheating can do in a relationship. Make sure your partner is willing to talk, all phones are off, the children are taken care of and you are in a safe place. Here we will examine the phenomenon of cheating, now that you know the warnings that apply to it. We are told that even if our sins are piled as high as a mountain they will be forgiven if we are truly repentant. This is my take of the situation: your house is already on fire and you are about to throw gasoline on it. 13 years of history erased by a rewrite of events to throw me under the bus along with lying to everyone, family, friends, Sheikh, counselors. Ultimately, you have to be both practical and spiritual in your decisions and recall that you will meet Allah one day and be asked about your choices. In a hadith, Muhammad Rasulullah SAW stated that in one of his dreams, he sees a punishment given by Allah to the person committing zina: So we proceeded and came across something like a Tannur. If he and you want to marry each other then you should go the halal way rather than do things the haram way. I love my Muslim boyfriend but he already has a wife. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. Have your questions written out. We have been the kind of mushy couple that is always asked if we're honeymooners. These are more deserving of the warning than those who cheat in weights and measures. This is something that should be used to put pressure on him to give up this sin and end that haram relationship. The Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) passed by a pile of food and put his hand into it, and his fingers touched something wet. Pouring your heart out to them will create sympathy which will then form an inappropriate, deeper feeling. I tried and then became lazy. This is how to treat a cheating husband: 1- You should treat him very kindly. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website.

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